CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

… Information/Guide to parents

Child sexual abuse is also known as child sexual molestation. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.

According to the National Violence against Children Survey, it established that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.

 

TYPES OF MOLESTATION

-Defilement

-Rape

-Fingering

-Making the child to watch pornography

-Exposing the genital to kids

-Indecent touching

-Fondling etc

 

WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?

ANYBODY

Studies show that over 95% of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child’s family.

 

ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS

They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members, neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates, class/school teachers, madrasah teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step  fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school/home lesson teachers, mummy’s friend, daddy’s friend, caregivers, strangers ETC.

Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because, there is no case of any of the above that we have not seen.

 

CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

Parental negligence, carelessness, non- challant attitude.

It is as bad as No one can be trusted

We have a child presently carrying a baby that belongs to her father

 

OTHER CAUSES

Absentee parents.

Parents who do not observe.

When d kids are not informed…..

What u watch with your kids.

 

WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?

✓On your bed

✓Right under your nose, under your roof

✓In the school environment- class, toilet etc

✓Hostel

• Hotel

✓Parties

✓ In their room (siblings)

✓Deserted/Abandoned places

✓ When you are distracted

Etc

 

Perpetrators look for opportunities.

5mins is enough to cause a lifelong damage

 

HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?

1. Grooming
2. Baits

 

1. Emotional bait
2. Gift bait
3. Financial bait
4. Familiarity & Respect bait.

Child grooming

Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-

Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

 

HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER

1. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
2. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights d abuser or when d abuser is around.
3. Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
4. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his moves

Etc

 

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds.

We had a case of twins having sex with each other. When they were asked, they said: we see mum and dad do same.

Why should we be that careless?

Because of the carelessness of both parents, their innocent minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed.

 

WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT

I will kill u

You will die

Your mummy will hate u

Your mummy will beat you

Your mummy will blame you.

Your mummy and your daddy will die.

He could cut d child, lick d blood and says ‘ this is a blood covenant between us ,d day you tell is the day you die

 

The SRR

-Teach your child-

 

S – Shout/scream

R – Run

R – Report

 

POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED

✓Isolation

✓Aggressiveness

✓Anxiety/Fear

✓Difficulty in walking

✓Sudden drop in academic performance

✓Poor social interaction

Etc

 

OTHERS

✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

 

Their dressing is important, dress to cover them pls. Teach them privacy. They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.

It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.

 

 PLEASE NOTE

Children never lie about abuse if your child tells u someone is trying to mess with him or her…. Please believe the child and respond appropriately.

 

EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

-The abused child could become a serial abuser

-Depression

-Suicidal thoughts

-Stigma

-Guilt

-Lifelong psychological trauma

-Aggression

-Withdrawn

-Infected with STDs

Etc

 

THE BOYS

More often than not, we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.

With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims- anal sex but because we do not pay attention.

For them, healing is a terrible process.

 

WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS Something might just be happening and u perceive  not. Do not be a hard mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.

Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.

Tell them what nobody must do with their body.

Tell them to speak out.

In the house, everyone must respect one another’s privacy.

SDGs Goal 3: Good Health and Wellbeing

Sponsored By: Completecare Initiative

 

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